“Jealousy is just a stupid child of pride or a disease of a madman.” (P. Beaumarchais)
You can often hear - he or she just goes crazy with jealousy. This expression is close to what actually happens in the head of a jealous person. He loses control of himself and in fact is almost crazy.
How many crimes committed in the history of mankind on the basis of jealousy. Even seemingly far from stupid people fall into madness. Take the same world famous Othello.
Psychologists have long come to the conclusion that jealousy can cause serious mental illness. But even if a person does not go mad from jealousy in the literal sense, he cripples his physical health, most often baseless, with his torments. It has been established in a practical way that in a jealous person, the pulse rate increases, the heart rate increases. If this is repeated day after day, then the vessels wear out, hypertension, ischemia, heart attack, and stroke are selected.
Jealousy also affects the stomach, causing ulcers.
And even short-term jealousy, plunging the human body into stress, leads to insomnia, chronic fatigue, and even depression.
Often, jealous men become impotent over time.
No wonder A. Dumas the son said -“Jealousy is the art of doing more evil than others”. Although in fact a jealous man spoils life not only for himself, but also for the object of his jealousy. Often the whole jealous family suffers. After all, some of them do not keep their experiences in themselves, but splash them out, setting up grandiose scandals.
So these people literally poison family relationships with jealousy. And some individuals do not hesitate to arrange scenes of jealousy in public places in the presence of strangers.
Many still have clichés in their heads - “Jealous, that means they love.” This is from the same opera as “hits, that means loves”. This, of course, is completely wrong. Jealousy, especially pathological jealousy, must be treated with a good psychotherapist, and perhaps, if the matter has gone far, a psychiatrist. After all, a person blinded by jealousy can think of it, God knows what. Accidentally cast by someone, a word spoken to a passer-by can be elevated to the rank of treacherous treason by a treacherous beloved.
No wonder Cervantes said -“Jealousy always stares through a telescope that makes small objects large, dwarfs giants, suspicions truths.”
Some girls tease their guys in order to make them jealous, flirting with others. Experts say that this should not be done in any case.
If the guy is not too smart, he imagines himself a kind of elk and rushes to fight. Having won the battle, he decides that now the girl belongs to him like a war trophy.
The guy is more intelligent, will just worry, which subsequently can lead him to early illnesses.
A completely smart one will just leave. Because why does he need a girl who tries to turn him into a male during the rut ?!
In addition, in no case should you cultivate confidence in a partner that after marriage you become his private property.
I remember how my grandmother told me that when they met with my future grandfather, he asked her: "Are you mine?" To which she always answered that I myself, although I love you. At first he grunted, and then got used to it.
Even the cat does not allow the owner to completely dispose of his actions and so shakes her feline rights that mother does not grieve! Moreover, the spouse has the right to independently manage their thoughts, meet with friends and not report on each phone call or SMS.
Often a person, most often a woman, falls into emotional or material dependence on a loved one.
Personally, I was lucky with the upbringing. My grandmother managed, from almost four years old, to convince me that it was the boys who should seek the girl’s disposition, and not vice versa. It happened a little funny. Granny showed me a cat running away from a dog and a dog rushing after it - look.
The cat climbed onto a tree and sat there for ten minutes or more, then she got tired of it, she got down, ran into a dog and slapped her paw in the face. The dog swept away.
Grandmother said, - so it is between a woman and a man. As soon as you follow him, he is from you. I didn’t understand then, but for some reason this scene and my grandmother’s words hit me for life.
The second time my grandmother returned to this topic when I was a teenager. She said that if the boy likes you, he will show his feelings, and if not, you will not force him to love yourself, you will humiliate yourself and lose respect for yourself.
And for some reason she read me a poem by Tatyanicheva:
“Proud is easier, the proud do not cry
Neither from wounds, nor from heartache,
On other people's roads do not loom
About love, as the poor do not pray. "
Often girls dream of an oligarch or, in extreme cases, a banker. Here it is worth recalling the popular wisdom that "happiness is not in money." No matter how trite. Nobody argues that money is good, it gives freedom, the possibility of an interesting life. But by an interesting life, I do not mean shopping at all, but the development of my abilities, finding my favorite business, traveling, charity.
However, do not forget that rich men are spoiled. In order to achieve wealth in our country, you need to go over the heads and push others. Thus, a certain stereotype of behavior develops, which a man sooner or later transfers to his woman.
There is only one way out of this situation - to get an education and make money yourself. Let not so huge, but sufficient for a comfortable life.
So that the spouse does not have doubts about the fidelity of the second half, it is worth treating each other with tenderness, despite the number of years lived. Evening gatherings are very close, for example at dinner, when the couple exchange information about what happened to them during the day.
I admit that sometimes my spouse’s business is of little interest. For the first time, I personally could not figure out what my husband was talking to me about. But then I realized that the main thing was not to get into the intricacies of his profession, but to enjoy his voice, his desire to share all this with me.
And her husband has an interesting look at jealousy. He believes that jealousy is stupid, as jealousy spoils the nerves. If a person wants to change, you cannot hold him in jealousy. And if he does not want, then he will not change. At the same time, if someone is bothered by jealousy, then he can change simply out of spite. I agree with him.
He spoke well of love without jealousy F. Laroshfuko:"There is such a love that in its highest manifestation leaves no room for jealousy."
But if, nevertheless, the husband is a jealous man and not only scandals and hits the dishes, but also raises his hand, then the experts unanimously declare that you don’t have to endure! You need to contact relatives, friends and doctors. And the sooner the better. Calling for help early will help to avoid a lot of problems and increase the chances of a complete restoration of the relationship.
And a little advice to women jealous - do not look for evidence of cheating on her husband. I never understood women who check their husbands' pockets, phones and laptops. The same can be said of vigilant men. What exactly these people want to achieve is unclear to me. But certainly not happiness.
If you love a person, then you need to trust him. And if he wants to change, then no surveillance will help, and the extracted "evidence" will finish the relationship. Do you need it?
And as much as possible here are the words of O. Wilde -“Ugly women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful - not so much, they are jealous of strangers. "
This, of course, should be regarded as a joke.
But still, after all, we are all beautiful and clever. So we will be loved and happy without questioning it.